Everyone has them. I have never met one person that didn’t have at least one insecurity. In fact, so many of us live with countless insecurities. It can be so lonely living with fear, regret and lack of confidence & self-belief – all of which can stem from feeling insecure in one way or another – but trust me when I say, you’re not alone!
Everyone wishes that they could change something about themselves. It may be one or many things, they might be big or small, but there will always be something that we want to change from our hair colour to our personality. Insecurities can come up anywhere and at any time and the most annoying thing about them is that we don’t always know how long they’ll stick around for. I know personally that I have some insecurities that just pop up for a split second and others that almost feel as though they’re permanently embedded in who I am at my core. It’s completely normal to feel insecure and even the most confident person you know will have one or two things they’re not so confident about.
– they can stop us from doing things we truly desire, push us away from people we love, encourage us to engage in things that might not align with our purpose, or even confuse our destined path with that of someone else’s.
I am so passionate about empowering women to be the best versions of themselves and live their healthiest lives possible. That doesn’t mean eradicating all insecurities from your life, it doesn’t mean pretending that they don’t exist and sweeping them under the carpet. It means accepting that they’re there, changing your story around your beliefs and doing what you know aligns with your purpose anyway!
We have insecurities for a reason. Sometimes they present themselves because we’re looking to improve upon something within ourselves or sometimes they’re there because it shows that we need to heal ourselves in certain areas. In either case, the first thing you have to do in taking back control over your insecurities is to:
If you feel insecure, then whether you like it or not, whether it feels comfortable or not, you have to sit down with yourself and acknowledge that you feel the way you do for a reason.
Then it’s time to accept them. It’s time to accept every part of you – INCLUDING those parts you don’t particularly like or even LOVE.
I’m not saying that you need to lie to yourself or pretend that the feelings you have towards yourself don’t exist. It’s time to embrace not only your perceived ‘flaws’ but the way you feel about them as well. By fearing your insecurities, you are letting them take control over you and therefore your actions. As uncomfortable as it may seem at first, it is so important to allow yourself to embrace all of those parts of yourself that you don’t like. You need to shower yourself with unconditional love.
One of the most detrimental things that I see when it comes to insecurities is social media. I know what you’re thinking – here we go again, the negatives of social media – I’m not saying it’s all bad, but sometimes, the way we use it isn’t the healthiest.
Have you ever had a moment spare so you picked up your phone to quickly check your social media accounts? Those ‘quick’ checks can easily turn into 10, 20, 30 minutes of mindless scrolling AND can lead to the dreaded comparison game! Do you suffer with comparisonitis? Comparing yourself to other people is like the ultimate food for insecurities – it’s like Christmas has come early and they flourish and grow in strength at a rapid rate. It is so easy to judge ourselves against what we perceive another person’s life to be. It’s so easy to fall into that trap of believing that you’re not good enough, that you don’t have enough, that you need more or less of. Comparisonitis can also be used as a tool for punishment to validate that our insecurities have reason to show themselves.
Don’t let a picture, a quote or a profile stop you from living the life you dream of and doing the things that you want to do! How sad would it be if everyone stopped themselves from creating their dream lives just because their insecurities were in their way?
You are unique and wonderful in every single way and just because you don’t look like Suzie Q or have the same qualifications as Jo Shmo, doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of doing what you desire or feeling happy. Everything in life may have already been done, but it hasn’t been done by you! You have the power to put your stamp onto everything that you do – you don’t need to compare yourself to someone else. You don’t need to let your insecurities from stopping you.
Be kind to yourself. It’s OK to not feel 100% all the time but don’t put yourself down in the process. Your insecurities will show themselves every now and again – but the important thing is how to respond to them!
You’re allowed to feel down, jealous, angry, fearful etc. every time your insecurities come into play – but work through those feelings and live your life anyway.
I’ve seen a cross over between confidence and insecurities and people linking the two. The two aren’t linked at all! You can be the most confident person in the world and still have insecurities. Confidence is just trusting who you are and not letting your insecurities dictate or run your life – they might still be there but you take back control and run your life the way you want anyway.
I think the self-love craze has put a lot of pressure on all of us when it comes to insecurities. There’s this stigma attached to self-love that you can’t feel insecure if you love yourself. The truth is, you can love every cell in your body but still have insecurities. You can love yourself but still have things that you want to change. It’s unrealistic to think otherwise. As humans, we’re on constant journeys of self-growth and self-exploration which means that we are always changing, developing and enhancing who we are as individuals. Therefore, there will always be things we want to improve upon or that we wished were different – it’s completely natural.
– even those parts you may not like, those flaws or those insecurities – they all need love. That is the key to living your life as your healthies version of yourself.
Insecurities are hard to live with – but it’s harder to live with knowing that you held yourself back from what you truly desire. Everyone has insecurities but don’t let yours run your life.
To listen to the podcast episode, click on the links below: