When I first started Her Unique Glow as a blog, I wrote weekly posts on motivation, goal setting and how to enhance your mental state. I remember so clearly sitting down and writing the article ‘Be Your Own Fairy Godmother’ – it was a huge turning point for me because at that point I KNEW which direction I wanted HUG to go in next. I was so passionate about helping women achieve and manifest the life of their dreams and still am to this day. Personally, I believe that we should teach what we are still learning and what we have been through ourselves. Although I have studied for years in the space of health and wellness (and still continue to do so), I know my best work comes from sharing my experiences and how they might inspire you.
When I wrote that article in 2016, I was going through a growth spurt mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Earlier that year I had struggled to find a job and when I did, the job I started damaged my physical health AND my relationship with Ben. I was left confused about which was the ‘right’ next step to take and didn’t know what to do. That was until I realised there are no ‘right’ next steps.
Everything in life unfolds beautifully just as it should and things are presented to us at the right times to either inspire us, teach us a lesson or show us something we’ve been missing. I was searching for the ‘right’ thing to do next instead of just doing the healing within, understanding who I was, what my values were and how I wanted my life to unfold.
When it comes to taking that next step there are no right or wrong choices we can make. Whichever option we choose will be perfect for us at that particular moment in our lives. Maybe further down the line we realise it didn’t serve our long-term purpose or goal but that’s ok too! Not everything we choose to do has to lead us to our divine purpose or life we dream of – sometimes it’s those smaller bumps in the road that actually give us strength, determination and guidance for where to go next.
Whenever I feel stuck, I tune back into myself. I look at my values, what it is I desire, I choose to focus on what drives me, inspires me and fires me up and then always choose love when I make my next move. Sometimes when we make decisions that no longer seem to serve us it’s important to assess whether we made those decisions out of fear or out of love.
After all, we know what’s ultimately at our core – that’s our gut feeling, our divine purpose, our truth and our ego. We know what it is we truly desire so therefore on some level, I believe we all know how to take that next step to get closer to that truth. When we make a decision that takes us further away it’s because we didn’t listen to love inside and instead chose to tune into that fear.
For me, the fear came through not wanting to be unemployed. I was in full blow comparisonitis, comparing myself to all of my peers from school or university and seeing how epic their lives and jobs were. I felt inferior when I looked at my own life. My inner mean girl was in full blown party mode and she was having an absolute field day!
Those internal words I was telling myself were so unbelievably damaging. They crushed my self-esteem, encouraged me to choose fear over love and convinced me that I will never be able to manifest the dreams I had once envisioned for myself. That was why I spent months searching for work (I applied to over 200 jobs!) and eventually landed a job that was not suited to me at all!
When something isn’t working for you, the universe will show that to you. Maybe the first time it tries to teach you a lesson, it shouts from the roof tops. If you don’t listen, the universe might try again by slapping you in the face. Maybe next time it’s a full on collision – or if you choose not to listen at all then something drastic will happen to show you where you’ve been going wrong. For me, it was my health. My blood pressure went through the roof, I was permanently in a state of exhaustion, I was gaining weight rapidly, my relationship suffered as I no longer had time for Ben and wasn’t my best self when I did, the skin on my hands was literally cracking into pieces and eventually I was left collapsing at work. I went to the doctor and decided that enough was enough. I needed a huge time out and knew that I had to re-evaluate my life.
Like I said, whenever I’m stuck, I tune into myself and I encourage you to do the same.
I love that last question –
We all come into this world with a divine purpose. For some, it might be being a mother or a father, it might be helping those in need, it could be working your way up the career ladder or for others it might be expressing themselves through their creativity. Our divine purpose is unique and individual to us and you may know what yours is already or you may have no clue! It doesn’t matter where you are on that scale.
Passion is so closely intertwined in all of this. When we are passionate about something, we are setting our souls on fire and therefore choosing love in that particular moment. So, finding your passion is a perfect first step to take whenever you’re stuck. If you know what you’re passionate about, then great! You’re onto a winner. If you have no clue – that’s fantastic too, because it means you have a whole heap of time to explore a million and one different things that you love! In both cases, you will be choosing love over fear.
After I left that job, we went on holiday and I spent an entire week writing lists and journaling everything that came into my head. I wrote down everything I was passionate about – Health, fitness, inspiring women, wellbeing, happiness, relationships, passion, creativity (just to name a few). I realised that 10 years before, I would have written down the same things. I knew that these were the things that gave me drive, motivation and passion for life but I had got side-tracked by my inner mean girl and let her run the show out of fear that I wouldn’t be good enough. It was time to change the stories I was telling myself, time to push myself outside of my comfort zone and take inspired action towards the life I dreamed of.
When I was 18 I remember dreaming of helping women to be their healthiest and happiest versions of themselves. I had this huge vision of how my life was going to be. Did I take inspired action and act upon it? Maybe for a month or so, but then fear won and took over. When I was 21 and had left uni, I had that same vision – did I take inspired action? Not at all – fear won and I stayed in a job that I knew wasn’t right for me (although everything happens for a reason and I’m so grateful for meeting my soul mate in that job). It was only a few years later that I realised it was time to stop thinking, time to stop saying ‘one day’, time to stop dreaming and time to take ACTION.
If you have a dream or a goal for how you want your life to be – understand what’s driving it and if it’s love then do everything in your power to make that happen for you. I think many of us hope that by ‘dreaming’ we will somehow be able to magically manifest what we want. The universe and life doesn’t work that way. It’s about an energy exchange – the energy we put out into the world is the energy we get back. If we act from a place of fear, then we will stay stuck and constantly swimming against the tide. If we take inspired action from a place of love, we will be one step closer to living our truth.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s always easy – in fact, taking inspired action and choosing love can be even more challenging than fear. Fear is what keeps us in our comfort zones – it’s warm and cosy there and so it’s easier to stay put. Challenging that and pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones is hard! It forces us to confront ourselves and challenges our determination and dedication. That’s why It’s about being persistent and not letting the small things derail you from your true mission and goal. That’s where understanding your WHY is so important because it can carry you through when self-doubt hits.
My next steps were to finish my Personal Training diploma that I had started 6 years previously, to get my driving licence so I could travel to teach fitness classes, to get a Pilates qualification and eventually start a blog. Each one of those steps were challenging for me but for the first time in my life, I didn’t push the self-destruct button and I knew my purpose required these actions from me. My ‘WHY’ was rock-solid and I was choosing love. Of course my inner mean girl showed up every now and again but I made the decision to not let her affect me or my choices.
You can make that same decision too.
It’s time to stop saying “I wish”, “I hope” or “one day”. If you want something, you can make it happen. As I had written back in 2016, you can be your own fairy godmother. Don’t wait around for something magical to happen, a miracle or your big break. All of these things happen when you take your next step from a place of love and take action. It doesn’t matter how small or big those steps are – hell, it doesn’t even matter how long it takes to get you to where you want to be! It’s all about the journey and the energy that you give off into the universe. If you want something then stop letting your inner critic hold you back, step outside of your comfort zone and take inspired action!