We all grew up knowing that there were 4 seasons every year – Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter – but what we didn't learn, were the seasons of life (especially our emotions).
Everything in our lives has its own season just like the seasons we experience throughout the year. Our relationships, friendships, finances, work, love, happiness, sadness, prosperity, home life, physical activity, diet – everything that nourishes us internally and externally also experience their own seasons. They start at the very beginning, flourish, continue to grow and show us when it’s time to hold on or move on.
It’s so easy to hold onto something out of fear of the unknown. We get so stuck in our comfort zone that anything outside of that box creates a whole heap of worry and anxiety within us – mostly because of the uncertainty that comes with the unexplored. Because of this, we tend to hold onto things that are no longer serving us, even when their season of worth has come to an end. This not only prevents us from growth and continuing on our journey, but it can also prevent us from truly living in the here and now and honouring what our bodies need at any given time.
I used to feel so stuck when I was at university. I felt like I was constantly fighting a losing battle of trying to get everything done at lightning speed, while being the best friend, maintaining a tonne of relationships (even though most of them were toxic), trying to continuously prove myself to others, always people pleasing, multi-tasking to the extreme and holding onto ideas of how my life should be, that it led straight to anxiety town. I was so fed up of constantly feeling low and drained and never really took the time to appreciate the highs – I was always so focussed on the lows.
I realised that the more I focussed on what I didn’t have and what I was lacking in, the more of that would present itself to me. It was a soul destroying conclusion as that meant that my habits of the past 20 years were finally what were letting me down, NOT outside influences as I had led myself to believe. But it was also freeing. Once I realised that I had the power to change my internal dialogue and what I choose to focus on, I could finally let go of the unhealthy thoughts that were no longer serving me. I was so used to feeling anxious, drained and sad, that it wasn’t an easy habit to break and my inner mean girl was on high alert – trying to sabotage my efforts at every turn. I still hadn’t accepted the fact that sometimes it’s OK not to be OK and was trying my hardest to do a complete 180 and ignore any negative feelings I experienced.
That was until one of my best friends explained to me that life is like a roller coaster. She said:
I realised that I had been living my life in black and white. One minute I was so consumed by my inner mean girl and all the toxicity of what I had allowed into my life and the next minute I was so fearful of it that all I wanted to feel was positivity. That was my biggest mistake. Trying to force one set of emotions over another than just living in the moment and experiencing all that life had to offer.
Life isn’t easy and it’s full of ups and downs, but isn’t that what makes it exciting?
Isn’t knowing true pain what allows us to really appreciate pure joy?
Isn’t experiencing heart ache what encourages us to seek blissful happiness?
Understanding and experiencing all those lows really allows us to appreciate and be grateful for all the amazing highs that come into our life as well.
Our emotions either come from fear or they come from love – but as a society, negative emotions are seen as something to be shameful of, something we should hide, not show and try and ignore or move past as quickly as possible. Positive emotions – those stemming from love, are glorified, idealised and worshipped. Can you see how there’s something incredibly wrong with that?
It makes us feel guilty for feeling any negative emotions and that prevents us from living in the here and now by constantly trying to wear masks to cover up anything we feel we ‘shouldn’t’ be feeling. If that’s the case, then where’s that drop in the roller coaster of life? Without that drop, how can we be lifted high enough to truly appreciate the view? All emotions and all feelings are valid and have equal worth. No one feeling is more important than other and it’s time to realise that as with everything, they come in seasons. Just because you feel one way right now, doesn’t mean that it’s going to last forever.
Just because you’re feeling down today, doesn’t mean you will feel like that tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. You can’t always control how you feel but you can control your experience of that feeling.
If you focus on the bad, then that’s what you’ll manifest in your life. If you choose to switch your focus onto the good, then you’ll attract more of that. You can’t control outside influences in your life and sometimes you can’t control the effect that they’ll have on you, but once you decide to control your experience of life, it becomes a game changer.
You are the creator of your own destiny, but to manifest what you truly desire, you have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. You have to step outside of your comfort zone, live in the here and now and constantly remind yourself that any negativity in your life has a season and at some point that season will end and you will move on. It won’t always be easy, but it will be possible – you just have to make that choice to start experiencing life in a different way. Choose to experience your emotions in a way that serves you best at that moment in time.
The more you resist feeling a certain way, the longer it will stay around. All feelings and emotions need your attention and they need you to honour them in equal ways. Yes, that means getting uncomfortable and working through those fear based emotions, but it also means that once you’ve done that, you’ll be on your way to experiencing light and love again. Remember, experiencing one will open you up and allow you to truly embrace experiencing the other.
I was constantly scared and frightened that I was just a pessimistic person. I was terrified that I would never experience life with true optimism. That was my dream and that was what I wanted. I would resist negative emotions and that’s what kept me stuck in that rut. But I learnt such a valuable lesson when I stopped resisting.
You can be a happy, positive person and have a bad day.
You can be the most optimistic person in the world but have a bad week, month or year.
The key to experiencing life to the full is to honour every feeling that comes your way and decide how you want to experience that feeling. Will you immerse yourself in it? Or will you resist it?
Everything in life comes in seasons and nothing stays the same forever. Just because life feels crummy one moment, doesn’t mean it will stay that way – not if you don’t want it to. If you want to experience the light and love again, then make the choice to do so and stop resisting what you don’t want to feel. You have the right to live the life you dream of and you are worth of it.
Just allow for the seasons to flow and embrace change when it heads in your direction. Live in the here and now, make the choice to experience life the way that serves you best and know that everything is unfolding just as it is mean to.