Our feelings come from one of two places – either love or fear. When we experience feelings of love, we feel light, free, hopeful, motivated, happy, positive and excited. When we experience feelings of fear, it may lead us to feeling uncertain, lonely, sad, jealous, anxious and angry. When you live your life from a place of love, you are living your truth and from your core. The times when you’re out of alignment are the times you’re not living your truth and therefore experiencing those feelings of fear.
I used to be that girl who was always on the go. I would constantly have a to-do list as long as my arm, making a million commitments I’d struggle to make and always push myself that one step further. That led me to that dreaded burn-out more times than I’d like to remember. As well as burn-out, it impacted my relationships, my self-esteem, self-worth, motivation and it made me question my direction in life. I didn’t take notice of the signs leading up to my burn-out periods and instead, ended up hitting a wall time and time again. The problem is, when you’re out of alignment with your true core, that’s when fear can cause all sorts of issues – so it’s important to make it a priority to tune into yourself and make sure you’re always leading life from a place of love.
There’s the saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ and this is so relevant when it comes to practicing self-care. Understanding who you are, what you need to thrive and what drives you can lead you to establishing a regular self-care practice that will help you to tune into yourself and always make sure your cup is full. Sometimes being selfish is the most unselfish thing you can do and taking that time for yourself is vital for giving your energy to others. When you’re at your most vulnerable and not looking after yourself regularly, those negative thoughts, inner mean girl chants and doubts can creep in and take over.
Walking outside and immersing yourself in nature is a wonderful way to get yourself out of any funk that you may be in. It’s so grounding walking on grass barefoot or on the beach. It doesn’t matter what time of year it is or where you live, if you can get outside and enjoy that fresh air, then it will help transform your state of mind and give you a little more clarity.
Adding daily walks into your routine is a great way of making sure that you’re doing something every day to help centre you – you can walk with your dog around your favourite park, take your kiddies out for a play, walk to work, have a walk outside during your lunch break. Try and find a route you love and make it part of your day – whenever you feel stagnant, take yourself outdoors and clear your head for a little while.
I’ve already mentioned the importance of self-care but really, without it, we end up burning ourselves out and that can manifest into health conditions, injury, fear based emotions and even stress. If you are a nurturer, then it’s time to stop focusing on others and focus on yourself. Create a self-care practice that is realistic and efficient to help you tune back into yourself when you need to. If you only have 5 minutes a day, then find something you can do in those 5 minutes that lights you up. If you have half an hour – what routine could you establish to fill your cup up? Do you have longer? Then that’s fantastic too! Imagine how much goodness you can get out of a longer self-care routine. Try to not make it too long or confusing – simply something that you can reach for daily (if possible) so that you’re never running on empty.
Personally, I love finishing work half an hour early before Ben comes home so I can centre myself before enjoying our evening together.
What lights you up?
Meditation is something I highly recommend to almost everyone in my life. In fact, I don’t think there’s anyone that wouldn’t benefit from practicing meditation daily. It’s a great way of getting a grasp on those fear based emotions, acknowledging them, letting them go and gaining a clear perspective on the bigger picture.
If you’re new to meditation then some of the apps available are a great start – or even check out some podcasts or YouTube videos to help you. If you’ve tried meditation before and it isn’t your thing, then simply practicing some breathing techniques will give you the same benefit. The 4,7,8,4 breath is my favourite.
Journaling is one of my favourite practices for helping me to tune back into myself. It’s so therapeutic jotting down all your thoughts onto paper and getting them out to the universe. Sometimes, it can be quite draining when your brain is constantly busy and on the go that it can be difficult to feel centred and grounded. If you feel out of alignment, then grab a pen and paper and start writing. If you’re new to journaling or want a bit of guidance on how to do it, then I’ve written a post specifically on this – worry journals are one of my favourite ways to journal when I want to tune into myself and understand what’s driving my fear.
Feeling stuck can also leave us feel stagnant, unmotivated and present us with a lack of direction. In these situations, getting creative is a great way to open up your mind to new possibilities and ways of thinking. Not everything we do has to lead us somewhere great – sometimes, the best thing we can do is stay still and get creative with the tools we’ve got. There are so many ways to get creative – it’s about pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, surrounding yourself with new possibilities and seeing what’s out there that can get you fired up!
Maybe it’s joining a painting class, drawing a cartoon, doodling, sewing, playing the piano – or it might be playing with playdough and clay with your children, pottering around the garden, painting a wall in your house or planning a party.
Take yourself out of the situation you’re in and start having fun exploring the boundaries of your comfort zone. You never know what could come from it! It’s just a fantastic way of snapping you out of a funk and as the attention is on yourself and your capabilities, it’s a way of tuning back into yourself and what makes you tick.
It’s so easy to forget about having fun, but boy is it essential in life! Kids have the right idea – they go to school and know when to switch off and have fun when they come. When we grow up, ‘adulting’ gets in the way of that and it can be so hard to switch off an have genuine fun. I know I personally really struggle with this. I’m always thinking of what’s next – ‘I have to do the laundry’, ‘the oven needs to be switched on’ , ‘did I pay that bill?’, ‘what’s in the fridge for dinner?’. Ben is brilliant at helping me to remember to create that white space and just play! In fact, we end up playing like kids ourselves and it’s brilliant! We build forts, play the floor is lava, have a game of hide and seek or even chase! It always snaps me out of any bad mood and really grounds me when I experience feelings of overwhelm or anxiety.
Consider how you can add play into your life and remember to have fun! Having fun and enjoying yourself will always lead you forward from a place of love – when you do that, not only are you connected to your true core but you also can’t go wrong in life.
When you feel out of alignment with your core, spending time with those you love can not only help to relieve you of any burdens you might be feeling, but can also help to remind you of your priorities, values and what’s important to you. Take yourself out of the situation and relieve tension by confiding in those you trust or just spending time away from your thoughts. Sometimes a change of scenery combined with love is all we need to feel grounded and back to our true selves.
Your passion comes from your core and is sparked by your values and what you cherish most. So when you feel out of alignment, do something that you know you’re passionate about to help tune back into yourself.
If you don’t know what your passion is, then that’s amazing too! It means more time to experiment with a whole load of things you love and more time for deeper self-exploration. Ask yourself what you value, what lights you up and what makes you soul fire up. Remember it’s ok to have lots on that list – many of us are actually multi-passionate beings and how amazing is that? Knowing you have a whole heap of things that fire you up in the exact same way.
This is probably the most important way of tuning back into yourself.
Remember, if you’re out of alignment, you’re leading your life from a place of fear. Ask yourself: What is it that I’m fearful of? Why am I feeling this way right now? Get clear on why you’re in the place you are and then consider how you can move forward from a place of love. As soon as you do that, you step back onto the right track to take you back to your core.
One question I always ask myself as I go throughout my day is:
If it’s the latter, then I question why and then decide to choose love instead.
To listen to the podcast episode, click on the links below: