These are all beginnings of sentences that either encourage self-growth or inhibit it. The way that we finish off those sentences can either push us forward into taking inspired action, or stop us in our tracks. They inevitably get used when we want change or desire something in our lives – i.e. they come about at pivotal moments to give us the momentum we need to take the next step in our lives.
If we want something to change in our lives, then it’s that inspired action and taking those meaningful steps that will get you there. But where is ‘there’? Where are you heading towards? With so much information, ways of living, career options, passions and lifestyle choices being presented to us day in, day out, it can be so easy to lose track of where you are heading and get lost in the noise of someone else’s life.
Trust me, I see it happen so often! One minute you’re heading down your own path, humming the tune to your own song and then next minute, you’re following the path of someone else because they have something that you thought for a hot moment you needed too. Sound familiar? It’s happened in my life too – I was so confused in my early 20s, I had no idea what I wanted out of life, what career felt right with me, how I wanted my relationships to look and even where I wanted to live. It was all too overwhelming that I couldn’t make decisions no matter how ‘simple’ they seemed to be. It almost seemed easier to follow someone else’s journey and use that comparisonitis to help me get to the next stage in my life.
There’s one huge flaw in that way of thinking. It’s not you. It’s not your life! You have lived your life up until this point; doing things your own way because that’s the only way you know how. When life feels like it’s going ‘right’, it’s most likely because you are living life authentically and being true to who you are. When things seem to go ‘wrong’ it’s probably because you took a diversion somewhere and started following someone else’s footsteps because that path looked appealing at the time.
If you know where you want your life to head and which direction you are going in, then that is incredible! If you have absolutely no clue, then that’s amazing too because you have hundreds of options to experiment with. Regardless of where you are in life right now, figuring out your desires and your ideals will help you to plan what’s coming next for you and what action steps you have to take to jump into that next stage in your life.
Becoming clear on what your desires and ideals are, is the key to creating a vision for your future that you can tap into whenever you are faced with those tricky decisions or forks in the road. I’m a huge fan of vision boards – using them to help guide you to where you want to be. I love journaling for that exact same reason, writing to-do lists, planning action steps – but all of those are pointless if you don’t know what your desires and ideals are in the first place.
So, let’s get clear on where you want your life to go – get clear on what you want out of life.
That list is normally really easy to get down on paper. Most of us know what we desire out of life. We all have dreams, hopes and wishes, so writing a list of them shouldn’t be a problem. The problem stems from lacking the self-belief, the self-love or the confidence to take those desires further. Most of the time we manage to convince ourselves that they just won’t happen for us, that we aren’t worthy of them, that they’re too far-fetched, or give up on them entirely before we even begin to work out how to manifest them in our lives.
Desires seem to stay as that – desirable outcomes that are divorced from reality.
What if I told you that just by changing the language you use with yourself, you can start manifesting some of those desires into your life?
When we use words like ‘one day’ or ‘hopefully’, you release the potential of that outcome from your own power. Rather than taking inspired action, you put that desire down as a dream that might never happen. We have conditioned ourselves into thinking that our desires are dreams that might or might not come true, so why bother investing into them? The issue with not investing into your desires is that they most likely will not come true – you have to invest something, no matter how small, if you want a result out of it. The more you invest, the more likely that result will be life-changing.
Ideals are something we all seem to know pretty well – they are what we hope will happen, the best outcome. For some reason, when it comes to ideals, we know what our next action step is going to be and it almost seems like we take our ideals more seriously. They seem to be a bit more achievable and realistic and therefore it’s easier to take that action to get us that one step closer.
You are more likely to work towards your ideals and take those action steps that will get you there as they come from a more ‘realistic’ stand point and not from a ‘dream world’, unlike your desires. We can actually make our desires come true, but we have to start using the right language to make that happen. The language that we use can have a dramatic impact on the way our lives pan out. The more you put down something, the less appealing it is – the same goes for the more you big up something, the more you want it! Well, telling yourself that situation ‘a’ is ideal, the more you will work towards it. The more you tell yourself that you hope for ‘b’ one day, the less likely you are to take inspired action towards it, right that second – in fact, you might wait years before taking the next step to get you there.
Our ideals can also be conditioned from what we view of other people’s lives. This is where settling can come into it and this is where confusion can occur and when we might start to steer off track. It’s almost easier to follow what seems to be ideal because Suzie Q does that, rather than focus on achieving our desires and what feels right at our core. The route to achieving our desires is not as clear cut because we have to put the necessary steps in place to get us there. We can’t copy someone else because our desires are coming from our core and what aligns with us as an individual – we can’t look to someone else to help us get there because they have no clue where we are coming from, they only know where they are coming from. Ideals are easier to copy because most of the time, there’s a known blueprint that you can follow.
Because ideals are easier to follow, our desires are left on the shelf for a rainy day and possibly are not even considered again. This is where life gets sticky and where we can become unstuck. We can only do something for so long before realising that it doesn’t feel right and then we’re back to square one. So, what’s the answer?
If you want your desires to manifest themselves in your life, then you have to start using affirmative language to get you there. Flip your desires round and create ideals out of them. Desires are great but only if we know what the necessary steps are to make them into a reality – that’s how we achieve true fulfilment with what aligns with us. Knowing what your desires are is the first step in making your dream a reality. The next step is to use that affirmative, confident language to boost your self-talk so that you start to believe they can become your reality. Your desires are not too far-fetched that they can’t become your reality. They are only as real as you make them.
Stay in your own lane and do life your way. You know what works for you and what feels right – don’t get side-tracked by listening to the noise of what everyone else is doing. You are your own person and you can do life in your own way. Start using language that will turn your desires into your reality – who knows, you might surprise yourself.
To listen to the podcast episode, click on the links below: