So this week I wanted to talk about LETTING GO OF ANGER.

I love this little series I have going and there is still so much more I want to touch on but I felt a bit of a running theme in my life this week which is why I thought this topic was perfect to talk about next.

Click here to have a listen:

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Here’s what I talked about on this week’s episode:

So why do we feel anger?

There are so many reasons we might feel angry:

  • When we project our expectations onto others but they don’t deliver
  • When we try to control others but they don’t respond
  • When we don’t get what we want
  • When we try to hold onto something that doesn’t serve us
  • When our expectations become too overwhelming

… just to name a few!

But why do we feel anger?

We feel anger when we feel out of control.

In Chinese medicine anger is connected to the liver. The liver constricts and contracts, becomes tighter and pressurised until it reaches a point where it just releases all that tension – that tension is the anger. Essentially we feel angry when the liver is distressed. The function of the liver is to sort through all the toxins in our body which is why I love this so much because this connection ultimately makes anger one of those toxins.

That’s exactly what anger is – a toxin.

Just like any other toxin in the body, it has a variety of negative impacts on our physical health – our backs become sore, shoulders tense, headaches, nausea, loss of sleep, lowered immunity, increased stress and blood pressure – not to mention it sends our hormones into a frenzy. Aside from the physical impacts though, anger also affects our emotional and mental state. When we feel angry it makes us vulnerable to feeling a wide variety of negative emotions.

Anger is a burst of tension when you believe you have lost control over a situation. As humans, we love to feel in control no matter what personality type you are – it makes us feel safe and secure. The truth is you only control to the tips of your fingers, to the tips of your toes and within your skin. You have no control over anything outside of you or your skin. Yet, we like to believe that we can – we like to believe we have the power to control all areas of our life around us and when something doesn’t go to plan, the anger strikes.

But who is your anger truly hurting?

It hurts you more than anything or anyone it’s directed at. It’s a toxin inside of you that can spread it’s poison into other areas of your life. No matter how angry you are at someone or something, that anger will harm you 100 times more that it’s intended audience.

Have no malice, hold no grudge.

That’s something my dad always says whenever anyone of us feel angry. No matter how much I wanted him to participate in my anger, to make me feel better and bitch about things alongside me, he would always stop me and say: ‘have no malice, hold no grudge’. I learnt from a very young age that holding onto anger only does yourself harm and that it’s important to let it go.

So how do we do that?

  1. Acknowledge it’s there – the worst thing you can do is sweep it under the rug and expect it to go away. It won’t do you any favours and it will make everything worse in the long run.
  2. Avoid playing the blame game – blame is something we should all learn to give up; it doesn’t solve anything.
  3. When you have acknowledged it’s there, take yourself to a safe space and allow yourself some time to understand why you feel angry and what it is your actually wanting. What is the end result you’re after?
  4. Start to look at the situation from the other’s perspective. You have to be open to learning and understanding in order to grow and move on.

Once you accept there is only so much you can control, then it will put you in the right frame of mind to move forward and let that anger go.

I talk through all of this in the podcast – so if you want to read more then make sure you have a listen and subscribe so you don’t miss out on the rest of this series.


Tags: Podcast, How To

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